Henry's stories

It was really cold, but not so cold as it was before. I was hungry too, because I ate the last bit of mule skin I had. So I kept walking north. I found a stone thing. There were bones on it. I looked at it. There was a bowl that was really big, so I dropped it. There wasn’t anything to eat. So I scraped some of the moss off of a rock. I boiled some snow and made some gross soup.

Then I kept walking north. I still wanted to find the thing that we were looking for for so long. I saw some smoke and walked to it. I found a village or something. There were some people, and I tried to tell an old man and that I was hungry. He grabbed me though so I pushed him off. I tried to get some food. A woman screamed but I was just there because I was hungry. Then a really big giant tried to grab me. I ran back into the house. I told the woman that this was her problem. Then she ran away, so I guess it was really MY problem.

So the giant tried to wait me out. So I had some porridge. I don’t really like millet porridge, but this one was really really good. So I ate the porridge. The giant didn’t wait though. He went and grabbed a big boulder. It was pretty obvious what was going to happen next, so I didn’t wait because he was going to smash the whole house so I ran out. But the giant just dropped the boulder and chased me. He was a whole lot bigger than me, but what choice did I have? He was faster than me. I turned around to fight. He reached for me, but I cut up his hand real good. I cut it up so much that he decided that he didn’t want to do that again for sure! So he kicked me. I got out of the way once, but not twice!

The next thing I remember I’m back in the hut. My chest has been crushed in. I bandaged it best I could with some of the things that were in the hut. There was also food and water. It was pretty good. Then the next day some people from different places came and got me. They were doing the same thing that I was doing. So I went with them. Victoria is a magician, and she healed me with magic.

So then we left. These people had a giant with them. A woman giant. So we were going with her for a couple of days. Then we got to a really big fire. The whole forest was on fire. Even the trees were giant too. We walked past lots of burned giant trees. Then we found a camp with really big pots that had little fires in them. The lady giant said that the fires in the little pots were making the bigger fires. There was a leader giant, who talked with the lady giant and then he bitch slapped her! Then the leader giant came over and talked to us and told us that he was going to squish us into paste unless we told him why we were there.

Victoria and him talked a whole bunch. He said some stuff about the laid lines and stuff. Then about a prize which is something that he captured. But were not supposed to talk to him. So what do we do? We go talk to him anyway. He’s actually a wight, but one of the one’s that we can talk to. He doesn’t say much that makes sense, except that we should talk to his master ‘cause he’s just a bodyguard. He’s three days to the southwest, then we climb the tallest tree and find a light that shoots up to the sky. Then we have to get in and talk to his master like a friend.

Then we go back to the giant camp. They’re none the wiser. So Victoria was talking about a spell for us to walk through the fire because that’s where we’re going. She casts it on herself and puts her hand in the burning forest fire! She’s not burned though, and the leader giant says that she might be useful and he’ll talk to her tomorrow. And then we go to sleep, but then I wake up because Thorek is screaming because he’s on fire. Duran pushes him to the ground and is kicking him. I quick grab my cloak. It’s not like a summer cloak. It’s really thick because we knew it would be cold. I get the fire out by wrapping Thorek in the cloak.

Something blows up by the cauldron. I guess that figures because it’s a fire cauldron. Now the flame is out even though that doesn’t make sense, because don’t explosions start fires, not put them out? The giants rush to the cauldron and babble in their idiotic language. So we pack up our stuff and get ready. I wake up Master Centauri. The flames are starting to die down, so we get ready to leave. Duran tries to get Victoria up and his beard lights on fire, and Thorek puts out the fire. Then Victoria wakes up and tells us that the cauldrons had elementals and so she released the elementals. Or something like that. So the big fires are going to go out.

It’s time to leave. The giants are going to be awful mad at us for putting out their fires, ‘cause now the wights can attack them! Victoria casts her spells on us so we can walk through the fire. Then we do just that! Duran wraps blankets around the horses’ eyes, and we start walking through the fire. I almost laugh because it’s so funny to be walking inside of a forest fire. We walk through it for a long time and then we get out.

Not long later we see a giant in a clearing in the forest, but it’s actually a wight! So we sneak around it, but not long after that we hear a thunder and crashing through the forest. So we hide quick, and we see three more giant wights running north.

We decide that maybe we should stay there for the rest of the night, and then go on when it’s day. We do just that. And so we travel all that day. We’re out of the wastelands and in the forest now. It’s pretty easy going because there’s not so much underbrush. I like this hike through the forest. I’m all healed up from getting kicked by the giant, we have food, and we’re not getting chased by anything. Victoria and Thorek are always in a bad mood though, mostly because we’re probably all about to die. But what’s the point? A nice day hiking through the tame woods of Eastmarch is just like a nice day hiking through a pretty forest with giant trees, even if it is haunted and we’re going to die soon. So why worry?

That night we make a camp underneath a big tree, even big for these trees. But Master Centauri notices that we’re surrounded by crows. There are lots of them on the trees around us. Thorek and Victoria says that it means that we’re about to die. Again with the worrying! Then we start to see this naked lady walking around, and she tries to grab Thorek from behind a couple of times! So I yell at her to knock it off and she disappears. Everyone seems real worried, but what is a naked dead lady ghost going to do. We light a fire and that seems to keep her away for the rest of the night.

The next day is a nice hike again. I’m looking for a campsite and I find a wooden stump in a clearing that has a ball of wood on top. Someone said sometime that things like that are fairy houses. I tell them that we’re going to sleep there because the fairies will protect us. Victoria gets awful mad again, and Thorek doesn’t want to either. But we do anyway, and that night when I’m on watch I see the fairies come out and fly around!

I wake up Victoria and tell her I told her so. But she’s real suspicious at first and thinks that we’re all about to die again! Thorek and Duran wake up to and look at the fairies. Then Thorek and Victoria start to talk about how the fairies are flying in circles, and stars, and things like that. I go back to sleep, and it’s Victoria’s turn to watch, but when I wake up she’s reading books! And not looking out! She never even woke up Duran for his watch! It’s a good thing the fairies were protecting us because if not we probably would have been eaten by giant wights.

Thorek decides it’s time to look for the light, even though we’ve only been hiking for two days, not three. So he casts a spell on Duran who flies up to the tops of the trees. Duran doesn’t see anything though. So we walk on through the forest.

The adventures of Mr. Joe Average. Have broadsword, will travel.

So now we’re walking again. This part of the forest is kind of dark and really quiet. Not a lot of birds or deer or mice or things like that. We weren’t walking very long when we spot the wights. They’re behind us and in front of us and to the side of us. We can’t tell how many because they’re just shapes in the shadows and they’re hiding behind the big trees.

I say “Hey Centauri and Duran you should shoot these things.” But Victoria says that we shouldn’t because of what the wight tied up to the rock said, about how we should be friends with the wights. But that same wight also said that some we would have to fight, and how friendly can they be if they’re sneaking around us? If I go to a friend’s house, it’s not like I sneak up to it all quiet like!

But Centauri and Duran don’t shoot them. Whatever. They’re the ones with the bows and so they have to make that decision because we don’t have a lord or anything with us. And I don’t have a bow, otherwise I probably would have just started shooting arrows at them.

I make a bet with Duran that I’m going to say “I told you so”, but I don’t have any money, and he lends me three gold. So the bet is on. I win that bet, like you’re going to see, because of course those wights are going to try to kill us! I would have been better if we would have just started shooting in the first place.

Then Victoria gets spooked out because they’re coming closer. Well of course they are! They want to rip our throats out! Now she agrees that they want to kill us, except then she changes her mind, because we go through a small clearing, and one of them is in the sun, and now Victoria says we shouldn’t shoot the wights. I think we should stop listening to what women say. They’re pretty stupid some times, even though they go to college and read books and stuff. But if they’re a warrior it’s okay to listen to them, because then they’d want to kill the wights too.

Just as I’m telling Victoria that I’m going to kill the first wight that I can, I hear her give a little grunt, and she falls. I turn and a wight is right on top of her. Go figure! Maybe she’ll be smarter next time. Centauri and I give it a few good whacks, and it’s done for. But then I get grabbed from behind ‘cause I turned my back on my side to help out Victoria! So now there’s a wight grabbing me, almost piggy back, from behind. It bites me really hard on the neck, and rips out a chunk of my neck! I try to whack it but that’s not as easy as it sounds. It’s not looking so good for me now.

Duran and Centauri see this. Duran shoots it in the face, and Centauri takes a whack at it. But then Victoria lights me on fire, but I’m not hurt by the fire but the wight jumps off as quick as he can! And now I’m not on fire anymore. I turn and see it there, and chop it up and it goes down. I stay looking at that side because that’s my job, and I know that Duran and Centauri are handling business back there. A couple of wights are coming towards me but they look at me! I’m standing there all bloody but I’m still fighting so what do they do? They turn tail and run! I guess those wights were the smart kind after all!

Victoria heals me with her magic and I feel better right away. My armor and stuff is all bloody from my wound, but that’s what a real warrior is supposed to look like anyway.

We keep going the rest of that day, and stop. We find a tree, which is pretty easy ‘cause that’s all there are in the forest, and start to talk about how to climb up it. Finally I take Duran’s rope and make knots in it, the start throwing it around the tree branch, climb up, and throw it around another tree branch. Pretty soon I’m high up, but now it’s dark so I ask for the goggles. They try to throw it up over and over but never get near me. I’m done and decide to climb down, but as I reach for the rope I slip and fall all the way down to the ground! You’d think that would be a pretty big deal like I might get hurt or something, but no, I’m just fine. Go figure.

The next morning we still have the same problem. Everyone’s mad at me because I left the rope in the tree, but sorry that I’m the only one brave enough to try to climb the tree, which is why we came all the way up here in the first place! We’re talking about things, and then we see that same naked lady in the tree, and she looks at us and walks inside the tree. Duran asks for his rope back, ‘cause she’s right there and it would be real easy for her to give it to us, but she doesn’t.

Then Victoria gets an idea and so we spend all day making a ramp up to the first branch, with me and Duran and Centauri doing most of the work and Victoria bossing us around. Do you think she even carries one little branch to help out? No way! But it’s actually a pretty good ramp thing and we can climb up it real easy onto the branch. So now we’re still stuck there, ‘cause the rope is still above us. I want to get nails from the horse shoes, but Duran says hey put me on  your shoulders so I do. But oops I drop him, but we try again, and this time I do a great job, but he falls. And what do you suppose he does? He punches me on the way down! Right in the face! So of course I fall too but I’m not as bad hurt as he is. Serves him right, the dick.

That’s that for that day, and we go to sleep. After my watch and Duran’s watch is over, it’s Centauri’s watch. He wakes us up and says that he can’t find Duran anywhere! I say well you were on watch where did he go? Victoria finds his footprints leading into the tree. We knock on the tree, and can hear Duran inside!

Now I’m figuring out that the naked lady is some sort of a Dryad. That’s not good news for Duran, ‘cause the dryad might make him her slave and stuff like that. So I get an axe, and Centauri does too, and we start hacking the tree. That makes the dryad really mad, and she reappears out of the tree and makes hissing sounds like she’s scolding us. That doesn’t stop us, and she goes back inside the tree, and then we see Duran way up high in the tops of the tree with her! She’s acting like she’s going to drop him. I shout to Duran to look for the light! And he shouts I see it! And so I drop my axe because I figure that she gets the point and that she’ll let Duran go.

She doesn’t though, and she goes back inside the tree with Duran. So I start chopping again, then she shows up again with Duran up the tree again, but not so high this time. I figure that she’s not going to drop him, because that’s not really what dryads do, because most of the time dryads aren’t supposed to hurt regular people, just bad ones, and we didn’t do anything to her tree until she grabbed Duran. So I keep chopping, and then she drops Duran! Even though Victoria heals him, now it’s my turn to be really mad, so I keep chopping and Victoria turns my axe on fire. And then the next thing I know Victoria is telling me that it’s morning and that it’s time to leave. So I didn’t get a chance to kill the dryad.

The place that we’re going to is really close, and Duran leads us right there. It’s hard to describe. It’s like a really big hole in the ground made out of a metal bowl, and then a jewel in the sky is held down by metal ropes to towers. A light is coming out of the ground into the jewel that shoots light up directly into the sky. Like I said it’s hard to describe.

We walk around the big hole, and Victoria finds big green discs on the side of the towers. She touches it and disappears! Duran touches it too and also disappears. I think for a bit, and then grab some food and stuff and tie the horses up and touch the green thing. Now I’m standing in a room and there is a little golden ball with a jewel on it flying around me like a june beetle. It’s annoying and I grab it and put it in my pouch. Then Centauri is behind me and we find Victoria and Duran. We’re inside of the really big flying jewel, which is a magical building of some sort.

We start exploring, and find a big egg with tentacles who tells us that we’re slaves and prisoners, and it makes Victoria disappear. It lets us go, but tells us to remove the focusing lens from the oculus rift. So okay we keep going. We go around a hall and find a room that has a whole bunch of dead wizards and also the Bad Centaur is there. We talk to him, and he tells us secrets like we’re kept prisoners by someone and the warden is also the mother and that we need to do what he is doing and be wights to be free. It sounds like he has some good ideas but it seems that he doesn’t have an answer to why we should all be wights and kill other people to be free from whatever it is that makes us not free. At first it’s like he’s trying to be friends with us but then he stops answering our questions. Then he gets mad and disappears.

I start going through the clothes and stuff of the mages and find some papers and things. I give them to Victoria, because what am I going to do with a book?

We go through a magical door and into a really big circle room. The centaur is there doing magical stuff with the oculus rift. Now he’s really angry and is going to kill us because he says he’s a god. So we fight him. Whoever made the room was really stupid and the ledge onto where the centaur is is on the other side of the room. So everyone is casting spells and stuff like that so I start running around the edge. Centauri passes me and fights the centaur. Pretty much I do nothing but run, and then I get there and the centaur is flying so what can I do now? There are really bright flashes as Duran starts to shoot the lens and Centauri starts to hit it. I think for a bit, and remember that Victoria has a box for the lens. So I start running back to her. But then Centauri hacks it and it blows up and the whole room seems to explode.

But we won, even though we’re all hurt real bad. I think that maybe that’s what we were supposed to do to fix the laid lines. I guess now it’s time to go back and fight Harwick.

but sorry that I’m the only one brave enough to try to climb the tree

Not so. Centauri would have been more than happy to climb that tree. The only problem is that he was born with four legs instead of two, which makes climbing most surfaces difficult if not downright impossible. Nature, therefore, is the enemy here.

Alpha Centauri wrote:

but sorry that I’m the only one brave enough to try to climb the tree

Not so. Centauri would have been more than happy to climb that tree. The only problem is that he was born with four legs instead of two, which makes climbing most surfaces difficult if not downright impossible. Nature, therefore, is the enemy here.

You don't need to have hurt feelings.    That comment was obviously directed at other characters (Victoria :cough: Duran :cough cough: ). Besides, Centauri outdid himself with his heroic (reckless? foolish?) actions during the Big Fight Scene. During which (as has been pointed out) Henry did nothing but run around in circles...  

You don't need to have hurt feelings.

There are no feelings to hurt in this case. Just an extra crispy Centaur with a new thick layer of callused skin to call his own.

I looked over myself. I was pretty bad hurt all over the right side of my body. I looked around. I couldn’t see Duran or Victoria. I don’t know what happened to them. I saw a pile of bloody clothes that was Centauri. I went over to him and started to take off all of his burned clothes and stuff and bandaged him as best as I could. Then I bandaged myself.

There wasn’t anything in the room that was useful, so I took Centauri’s shield and put it in the doorway so the door wouldn’t close shut on me. Then I went back to the little room and stepped on the thing because I wanted to talk to the egg because the least they could do after Centauri fixed the problem for them was to help him out. But then I was back outside. I touched the green disc, but I didn’t get sent back.

The flying apple came back and told me I was a prisoner and that I was trespassing and to go away. I grabbed it and told it I would take it back to the Marquis de Lesselyn if it didn’t get Centauri out because he would die soon. It didn’t want to, but did finally so I let it go.

So now Centauri is lying there all broken up like he was inside. There’s not much for me to do for him because I’m not a doctor or a wizard, so I decide to go get some firewood. I go down the hill. Of course the mule has been taken by the wights. There’s a big blood trail into the forest. I follow it because maybe there’s some gear from its bags that we can use. I do, and find a whole bunch of wights in a clearing munching on the mule. There’s got to be around eighty of them or so. Then a giant wight comes and grabs the mule and crushes a regular wight in one of its hands. I sneak back to Centauri.

I’m thinking of what to do when two wights come out of the forest right at me. They’re not acting regular. They’re moving really slow and aren’t thinking right. As they come at me I chop their arms off. Pretty soon I’ve killed both of them.

I go back to Centauri and he starts waking up. He doesn’t remember what happened or what he did. Then three more wights come out of the forest. I fight them like I did the others. Then I go back and talk to Centauri again.

Centauri says we should light a fire and that should scare away the wights when it’s night. I’m having second thoughts and think that if we light a fire on a hill because I can’t move Centauri and he can’t move himself then that will attract all of the wights in the forest. But he says we should, and so I gather lots of firewood.

That night we have a fire going and the wights start coming. I’m thinking that the fire really is attracting these wights so I kick the fire out. Six wights are still coming though. This time I’m a little smarter and I start chopping their legs as I back up. I get them all down but they keep crawling and get to Centauri. But he fights them too and I protect them as they try to bit him and we destroy all of them. It’s a quiet night after that, but it’s really cold and it would be nice to have a fire, but it’s better to be cold than to have to fight all of the wights.

Then for a week or so I’m looking for food. Centauri has his magical belt that keeps him from having to eat, which is good, ‘cause he eats a lot. So I’m out there finding lichen and roots and bugs and things. Not a lot of good stuff to eat, but eating that stuff is better than starving to death.

Then one night I’m standing watch and I hear a voice behind me. I turn to look and a whole bunch of Elves are pointing bows and arrows at me! What can I do? Not really anything. If I try to fight I’m dead. One of them is translating for the leader. He says I have to give him all of our food and the goggles and the belt. I’m furious because I can barely feed myself and so how can I expect to feed Centauri too? But if I say no they’ll kill me and I’ll be dead anyway. So I give those things to the Elves and they leave.

When Centauri woke up I told him what happened. He’s really angry that I didn’t wake him up so that he could fight the Elves. But he can’t fight anyway right now and so they would have killed him and what’s the point of that?

We were bad off before, but after that it was really bad. I had barely been able to find enough bugs and roots and stuff for me. Now I had to find enough food for Centauri too, and he eats a lot. It’s not like I could just try harder or anything either. But I did as best I could. Centauri wouldn’t eat though. He told me that we couldn’t both survive on the things that I found to eat, and that I should leave him there, and that it would be best if I made my way back on my own. That wasn’t going to happen though! Why would I leave Centauri there to die when he saved my life? That’s just not right. And he’s my friend too. So if we’re going to starve to death then that’s what’s going to happen. We did what we came to do, and what’s the surprise if we died trying to get back? I think that now the laid lines are fixed everything is going to be better and we didn’t do that for us. If we were going to do things just for us we probably would have just stayed home anyway.

A few days later and it was pretty obvious that we were going to die. Centauri kept his promise and wouldn’t eat anything. I only ate the bugs and mice I found and didn’t eat any of the moss or lichen or roots. Those were his share of the food, and what kind of a bad warrior eats his friend’s food? Not me. That’s not how I was raised, and that’s just not right.

But as luck would have it those elves got what they deserved. It really served them right, stealing from us and pretty much murdering us in the middle of nowhere. That translator elf came back and told us that the giant wight had stalked them and that they had fought it but that they had lost. Centauri hadn’t woken up that morning. He was going to die pretty soon. The elf wanted us to help each other, so I said yes. I went back to where they had fought the giant. I grabbed as many supplies as I could and the goggles and the belt and some arrows and stuff for Centauri. I put the belt on him, and he woke up after a bit. He didn’t like that now we were friends with the elf but he knew that we had to trust each other.

We stayed there a while and let Centauri get better. It’s a really good thing that he’s so tough, because not too much longer after that he was able to get up and we were on our way. The elf led us south. A couple of days later we were out of the forest and in some plains with really tall grass. The elf wanted to go hunting, and Centauri can shoot bows too so they went off to hunt caribou, which are pretty much the same thing as deer. The elf told us how dangerous the animals there were. And so I’m there in the tall grass by myself when I see two big things moving through the grass towards Centauri and the elf! I jump up and down to get a better look. They were like two huge chickens, but they were really big and had huge beaks and looked really dangerous! If you tell me that I’m chicken because I was scared of those birds I’d like to see what you would do if you got hunted by them too!

I started jumping up and down and yelling at Centauri and the elf. The elf tells Centauri to run! And they both run back to me and then we all decide we’d better leave. There are at least five of them around us. The elf says they’ll kill us and eat us. I tell them to shoot the stupid birds! And so they do, but it doesn’t do any good, because the arrow just bounces right off the bird like it’s made out of stone! Do you know why they shot at the birds? It’s because we didn’t have a stupid woman with us to tell us not to!

We backtrack out of the grass. Maybe we’ll try hunting again some other time.

We decided to go around the swamps. Il didn’t think it sounded like a good idea to go through them anyways. After a bit we saw some vultures circling. Normally it’s stupid to go after carrion, but we were still in real bad shape so we headed over there. Once we got close, we could see that it was a person. I shouted out to him, and I heard Thorek shout back a swear word, so we knew for sure it was Thorek. There were plenty of wolves around, but Centauri and Il shot them with arrows until they left.

We tossed him a rope and dragged him out. Me and Thorek wanted to go after one of the wounded wolves that had dragged itself off, so he took Centauri’s belt and off we went. We followed those wolf tracks for a little bit, but never did figure what happened to the wolf. We looked up and found that we had walked right into the nest of two griffins!

Me and Thorek figured that maybe the wolf meat wasn’t worth it, so we started to back out. But those griffins are crafty. They encircled us and attacked us from opposite sides. We fought back to back, but Thorek got knocked to the ground as I chopped up my oversized chicken opponent. Then I hacked at the one that was on him until it left. Thorek used a magic Distant Blow and hacked it to pieces. Then we hacked them more to pieces and went back to camp with as much as we could carry.

The next morning we went back to the griffin nest, but something had gotten to them and there wasn’t any more meat. That day we sat around and smoked the meat. It smelled so good and I ate a whole lot of it. If I was back home I probably wouldn’t because it was probably really gross to eat wolf meat but we were so hungry the meat tasted really good. It was like that one time we celebrated Dydd Santes Dwynwen in Westminster, and that one girl made me all that food to show me how good a cook she was and my mom told me that I’d better marry her before she lost interest. But then I started working for the Marquis de Lesselyn, so I guess maybe she’s married to someone else already.

That night I heard the giant wight, and we all ran away. I saw it. It was really big, like a house. That’s not an exaggeration either. It’s not like it was as big as a manor house, but it really was as big as a regular house in the city.

We walked on for a few days, and our food got rotten, so we had to throw half of it away. That was really horrible, but there was nothing much to do about that but keep eating bugs and moss and lichen along with our meat.

We got to a lake and started walking along the shore. Il said that there should be villages where maybe we could get help. We got to a village all right, but we knew that it wouldn’t go so well because there was no one to greet us. Everything was quiet and empty. We knew were in for some trouble, but not as much trouble as we got into!

We started to search the village, but found it to be pretty much empty until Centauri discovered a wooden plank on the floor in one of the little huts. He pulled it up and there was a sort of tunnel that went down. He looked into it with his goggles and told us that there were some kids down there.

An old man came up but he spoke just gibberish, but Il understood him. He told us that there village had been attacked by wights, and that the men were all dead when they fought the wights, and all the women were dead when they went to look for food but the old man didn’t know what killed them.

We were talking about what to do when we heard the giant coming. Without hesitation Centauri leapt out of the hut and started running, with the wight chasing him. We waited a bit, but figured that Centauri was a goner. So we went and started grabbing food so we could feed the kids while we looked for somewhere safe when the wight came back.

There was no way we could outrun it. If we tried to scatter maybe just one or two or three would get eaten, and then the rest of us would starve in the wilderness and the kids for sure would have died. If we fought it then we would meet the elves in the creature’s belly, and then the kids would die too. There was only one thing to do, and that was to hide like foxes down in the warren.

We all ran back to the hut and went down the hole. The wight tore apart some of the other huts. Then a little girl started to cry. Why wouldn’t she? A monster more terrible than her dead parents’ stories was looking for her and wanted to kill her in a horrible way. Thorek said something about killing her, which only made me angry, and even more determined than ever that I would do what I could no matter what. The old man quieted the girl, but the wight found our hut. He ripped it open, and I could see a bit of its head and its hand through the hole. It stuck that huge hand down the hole. I attacked it as hard as I could, and so did Thorek, but it grabbed the old lady and chomped her right down!

I got an idea, and told Thorek to use his magical blow against the wight! He did, and really hurt its arm that it had been using! But the wight got really mad, and started shoving things down into the hole to kill us. Me and Thorek used our shields to try to block it, but what was the use? The thing weighed as much as a house, and we couldn’t stop it shoving things down the hole. But we kept us some room to breathe, and soon it went away. Then to our surprise Centauri showed up and helped us out of the hole. I was really happy because I thought for sure he was dead. I think he was really happy to see us alive too.

We took the old man and the kids with us. Thorek said we should just let them die on their own. That really made me mad. What kind of a warrior is he, anyway? There were a dozen little boys and girls, from about 5 years old to a boy of about 12. And Thorek was just going to let them die? Not me! How could I do something like that? We weren’t on a mission any more but just trying to get back home, so what’s the point in saving ourselves when there’s these kids to take care of? But Centauri was with me, and we took the kids and the old man with us.

Il seemed like he knew a good place for us to go. A few days later when we were pretty much out of food we got to a neat elvish castle like place. Il knew a magic way in, and there was a foyer with some wine for guests. Thorek headed right to the wine. I gave some to the kids because it would give them some strength, and also I didn’t want Thorek to get too drunk and make a fool out of himself in front of our hosts.

Il rang the doorbell a couple of times, but there was no answer. We all of us knew the truth, that everyone in the castle was dead or wights, but Il didn’t want to believe that. So we went to the wall and Thorek cast a spell and floats up to the top. I toss him a rope and climb up. It’s not looking so good again. The courtyard was full of zombie elven wights. We don’t have any food to go anywhere else, so the only thing we can do now is assault the castle. It’s us against dozens of elf wights, and the chances of us coming out of this unscathed are slim.

But what else is new.

Dydd Santes Dwynwen

When I read this, I thought you were making a cleverly hidden Christmas reference. But no such luck. It was only a nod to Valentines Day as celebrated by the those of Welsh decent on the 25th of January. Is Henry looking for a girlfriend?  

The courtyard was full of zombie elven wights. We don’t have any food to go anywhere else, so the only thing we can do now is assault the castle. It’s us against dozens of elf wights, and the chances of us coming out of this unscathed are slim.

But what else is new.

Hey, it's time for a zombie slaying dungeon crawl. Let's get to the slaying of the elves and the pilfering of their ancient weapons and technology.

Wait...Does this mean we might find?...Nope. Those weapons are spoken for. We're still screwed.

Alpha Centauri wrote:

Dydd Santes Dwynwen

When I read this, I thought you were making a cleverly hidden Christmas reference. But no such luck. It was only a nod to Valentines Day as celebrated by the those of Welsh decent on the 25th of January. Is Henry looking for a girlfriend?  

You (i.e. Jake) get extra CPs if you can figure out how the holiday relates to Henry's background story.

Alpha Centauri wrote:We're still screwed.

So what else is new?

Due to time constraints, this is part one of chapter 5 of "The Chronicles of Things that Henry Did and Also Things He Saw and Other Stuff Too"

Looking at the grounds from on top of the wall we could see several wights scattered around. They didn’t look like they were doing much. They certainly weren’t paying any attention to us.

The place was actually pretty nice, besides being haunted by the undead and such like that. It was really big, with some a building that was clearly the manor house, some work buildings, and the slave quarters. There were some fields, but they were overgrown, I imagine because the people here were wights at the beginning of the planting season. There were two grain silos, which was promising. Maybe we would survive after all.

We dropped the rope to the other side and slithered down. First thing was to get Centauri in, because who wants to fight a whole bunch of wights without Centauri? Also he looked awful disappointed when we all climbed the rope and left him behind. I was going to have some fun and tell him to go stay with the kids, but that’s not too nice and anyway what am I going to do when he throws a boulder at me and knocks me off of the wall?

Il told us that the building direct across from the manor house was the upper part of the entry way, so we headed there. We tried the door, but it was locked. Up on the raised walk at the door to the manor house there were four wights. While we were fiddling around with the door they start to see us and now they’re walking towards us. They’re not running at us like the old wights used to, just the shambling slow walk. I tell everyone that we should walk up and meet them so we have room to just walk backwards as we fight them. So we do.

First Duran shoots one with an arrow. Then I hack at the neck of another one, and the head pops off. Then I do the same thing to another. Il has a spear, which is probably not the best weapon to have against a wight, but I guess that’s all he’s good at. It’s better than a whip, at any rate.

So Il stabs one in the neck. It was really a great shot, and if we were fighting regular alive people then it probably would have done the trick. But the wight shrugs it off and starts crawling up Il’s spear until it grabs onto him! This isn’t so good, because I know what’s going to happen to Il next. So I swing my sword at the thing’s neck just above where Il’s spear haft is poking through, and slice off the head cleanly. Then Thorek hacks the other one to pieces.

It was a pretty good fight, because no one got hurt, but it got real close because Il could have had his neck chomped on by the wight. It would be pretty bad to be in Elven lands without an Elf guide, especially because Elves think that humans are their slaves.

We search the bodies, and find keys, but they’re all too small for the big entrance door. So we go to an enclosed hedge where I saw a wight go to earlier. There’s a statue of a dancing fey holding a cornucopia over a still reflection pool. It’s a pretty statue. I saw a wight hiding in a shadow behind the statue. I walk up to it and it runs away! It’s a little girl elven wight. Thorek hefted his axe as it ran past him through the entrance to the hedge, but I shouted at him “Don’t!”, and he didn’t strike her down. I tell him that if she’s running away maybe she’s survived being a wight, and is like a regular person then but still a wight like the one that we saw tied up to the rock. I don’t think that we should kill those wights, because maybe they’re people too, just like us. And how often do we see a wight that’s scared of us? That’s different. If the little girl wight is really alive, we should save her. She might want to make us slaves, but that doesn’t matter because were too big for her to boss around.

Then we went around to the side of the manor house. There was a wight there trying to get into the side door. At one time he was dressed better than the other human slave wights. We killed him, and he had some keys on him. One of them fit the door to the entryway. We went inside. It was a tackroom, but kind of small and with no room for horses. There was a bed in a small room, and some other supplies, but no food. We went down ramp, opened the door, and let Centauri out. Now we were ready for any fight, just as long as we didn’t have to fight anything magical.

With all of the excitement of exploring an Elven castle and fighting wights, I had forgotten the reason why we were there. But then I saw all those kids and that old man looking at us when we opened the door. They were really completely helpless on their own. They would die shortly unless we found more food. That’s why we were there in the first place, to find food. I’ve never seen anyone starve to death, but I imagine that it must be pretty horrible. I’ve seen lots of people killed in battle, and even though that’s pretty bad and sometimes people linger for hours and cry and scream in pain after a little while it’s all over. It must take some days to starve to death. No one should have to die like that, especially not these kids. Their parents should be the ones taking care of them, but their parents are dead. It’s up to us now to take care of them. Elves have to eat and so do their human slaves. There has to be food here, lots of food to feed all of these people.

We went back out. Thorek made the suggestion that we should grab a fodder bag so we could bring food back to the kids if we found any. That surprised all of us, but we did. We went to the slave buildings. There were a lot of slave wights hanging around. We killed them without much trouble, and then explored their houses. There was nothing of value there, just signs of the sad story of people slowly turning to wights and their families not knowing what to do and then dying themselves. It was really horrible. There was no food there.

Then we went to the silos, our best hope for survival. I opened the door to the first one. It was empty. But there was still one more, and I was almost shaking I was so hopeful when I opened the door to that one. My heart almost broke. As I opened the door a sludge of wet barley mixed with some corn and wheat oozed out. I looked up and saw that the roof had broken. I climbed to the top to figure out why, but I didn’t see anything to show me why.

I climbed back down onto Centauri’s back. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know the prayers that the robed druids said at the beginning of every planting season to bring a plentiful harvest. I wondered to myself what it would be like if we didn’t find any food in the manor house. We could look for food in the wilderness, but we wouldn’t be able to feed everyone. We would all slowly die. I wondered if it would be worse if I died first, before the kids, and then they had to watch me die, or if it would be worse if I had to watch the children die and then die myself. No one should have to wonder about such things.

We dropped the rope to the other side and slithered down. First thing was to get Centauri in, because who wants to fight a whole bunch of wights without Centauri? Also he looked awful disappointed when we all climbed the rope and left him behind.

Wow. Henry must have psychic abilities or  better observation powers than I realized. How was he to know that when he left Centauri on the other side of that wall, the brave centaur's emotions were betraying his normally stoic demenor...







Oh, the pain. The pain.

Thank heavens my character does not have murder addiction. That would be a scary sight to behold.

We went over to another hedge enclosure. There were two crypts there for the family graveyard. We had had enough of the dead above ground no one wanted to go down there. We went back to the side of the manor house. Next to the door was an enclosed stone area. I peeked inside. It smelled like poop and animals and death, but I could see some sort of animal still alive in there. I didn’t care much but Duran got real concerned. He got out a piece of dried wolf meat and coaxed the animal out. It was a cougar kitten. It was starving and covered in poop and really gross but Duran started to treat it like his baby and carried it around with him wherever he went. This did not help the overall smell that is known as “Duran”.

There were two nearly horizontal doors at the side. A root cellar! Certainly there would be food there! We searched through our pile of keys and finally found the right one. I borrowed the goggles from Centauri and went down. Once again, I was disappointed. It was the apartment of what appeared to be the butler. There was nothing useful there, but there was what looked like a doorway that had been bricked over. We didn’t have any crowbars or sledgehammers that we were carrying around with us, so I left.

Then we went inside the manor house itself. It was a real nice place, and familiar to me because it was a little like the manor house I lived in in Westminster. But there were some real bizarre things. Between each group of rooms was a secret passage with eye holes so you could look into one of the rooms. It was disturbing. Also we found a room with a big, really heavy table with iron rings embedded into it and blood stains on it. Il told us that the lords would chain slaves to the table and make them fight. That was a disturbing though; even Il thought that that was not good.

We got to a room with an armoire. I opened it and looked through it but there was nothing in it but some overcoats. Duran got a funny look on his face and told me to keep looking. I threw all of the coats out onto the floor, but there really was nothing there.

Thorek decided to wander off, even though I told him to stay with us. I opened the next door and it was just a blank room. There was nothing at all. I walked out and the door shut behind me with Duran and Centauri still inside. I laughed and told them that the room monster was going to eat them now. But there was no answer, and they didn’t come out. I got nervous and opened the door. Now the empty room was a fully stocked library! Centauri and Duran were nowhere to be seen.

I rushed back into the entryway. They weren’t there either, nor was Thorek. I drew my sword and put on my shield. I didn’t know what I was going to fight but I wasn’t going to go down easy, although really I knew that since this was some sort of enchantment I probably really was going to go down easy.

All of a sudden Duran and Centauri were right next to me! I shouted “Aaaah!” but it’s really hard to mistake a stinky woodsman and a huge centaur for a wight, so I didn’t swing at them or anything. They told me that they were trapped in that empty room and it was starting to smoke up because of the torch. They extinguished the torch and then were in a dark forest. They walked a little ways and lit the torch again and then they were standing next to me! Now how do you fight something like that? Swing a sword at a tree in an enchanted forest that doesn’t exist? I don’t think so!

We found Thorek pretty quickly. He was in one of the secret passageways, curled up into a little ball and muttering to himself in his own language. We woke him up and he said something about never ending passages that he couldn’t get out of and didn’t even know he was in at first. He said he saw a little girl Elf who said “Get out!” to him. Then we were waking him up. I asked him, and he told me that the girl had spoken to him in Icatian. That was odd because according to Il there was almost nobody who spoke Icatian in the Elven lands.

We kept searching the first floor. We found the kitchen and some servant’s rooms, and that was it. I was again wracked with fear of death: we still had not found any food. I was standing in the kitchen and cast my eyes around for anything to eat. That’s when Centauri pointed to a trap door set into the floor. I scrambled over to it and pulled up the door. I fairly well leapt down into the cellar, and what I saw with the help of the goggles astounded me: an entire basement larder stuffed to the gills with food: dozens of links of sausages hanging from the walls; barrels of potatoes, artichokes, sunchokes, leeks, cabbages, apples; bins of wheat flour, corn meal, and barley flour; salted and cured fish and beef and pork; and casks of ale and wine.

We grabbed as much food as we could carry and brought it back to the kids and the old man. We didn’t know if this haunted house was going to kill us pretty soon. Then we went back and explored the second floor. It was obviously where the lord and his family lived. The rooms were really nice, with nice things in them. Some of their things were in disarray, as if they had left rather quickly. In one of the child’s rooms it looked like there was some sort of a struggle, with furniture pushed through the window onto the walkway.

We went up to the third floor. There were two doors at the top. One was locked. It was made of stone and had metal hinges. The other went into another room that was furnished and decorated like a child’s room. But there was a chain and manacle driven into the floor. There was a blood trail that led from the room. We followed it to the fight in the child’s room. When we went back up to the third floor room we searched it. I found the severed arm of a child underneath the bed. It was pretty disturbing.

In the master bedroom Thorek figured out how to work the steel platform by turning a small horse statue. Thorek, Duran, and I got on the platform and Centauri turned the horse. It took us up to a small room that had a design carved into the floor. Thorek told us that it was magical, so we didn’t mess with it, and went back down.

We searched the other buildings. We found a workshop, a carriage house with dead horses and a wagon and a carriage, and a bell tower. The rungs that led to the bell tower roof had been cut, and the rope had also been cut out of reach of a person. However, Centauri was tall enough to pull it. He yanked it so hard the entire bell came down. We also looked at an herb garden and a statue that were both enclosed by hedges.

We grabbed some chisels and hammers from the workshop and went back to the sealed door in the mansion. It took some work, but finally we got the door off. We looked in. There was a circular room with a statue in the middle and two suits of armor on either side. The statue looked like the same elf from the front garden, but his hands were out to either side. There was a symbol on the floor that looked like the other one in the magical room. We figured that as soon as we stepped into that room the statue and the suits of armor were going to come alive and try to kill us. It turns out that we were right.

We went back to the kids and took them plenty more food and water, just in case we all got slaughtered by the magical statues. Then we went back. I went in first, and sure enough, the statue shot lighting from its hands into the suits of armor and they came alive. I went out to fight one, but didn’t get the chance. The statue started spinning around, still shooting lighting from both hands. I started hacking at the arms, and me and Thorek chopped one off. I kept getting struck by lightning over and over, and then one of the suits blew up and once again I was caught in a magical blast. But then we got both arms off and both suits blew up.

I was in real bad off shape. Way worse than the fight where Centauri broke the lens. I lay down and someone bandaged me up, but I got struck by lightning so what are you going to bandage? Well, I got bandaged up all over pretty much. And then Centauri and Thorek gave me some healing pills, so I could walk, but only barely.

We looked into the rest of the room. It’s not like we were expecting what we saw, but it’s not like we were surprised, either. The Elf lord and his whole family were up there dead. I guess they mixed poison into wine and everyone drank it.

We found a diary and Il read it to us. Their servants had started to turn, and then their little daughter Lela did turn into a wight. They chained her up in that little bedroom, but their youngest daughter Olena snuck up to see her. Lena ripped Olena’s arm off and chased her and they both went over the balcony. Now with Olena dead and Lela a wight they hid themselves away in their little rooms. The diary didn’t say if everyone knew that they were poisoning themselves when they drank the wine. I don’t think that they did, because someone had brought up lots of food and water and why would you go through all that effort if you’re just going to poison yourself?

There was a sword I grabbed up there that was really nice. There was a box of treasure, but what good is that? You can’t eat gold, so we left it there.

It’s not like I’m going anywhere for a while anyway.

Once again time restraints and "real life" dictate that this is part one.


The next couple of days I’m flat on my back in bed, doing nothing much but cooking for the kids and the old man. Centauri and Il wandered around the grounds exploring things. They told me that they couldn’t figure out how to get into the crypt to bury the Elves. There weren’t any handles or door knobs on the doors to the crypt. One crypt had the symbol of the sun on the front, the other the symbol of the moon. They figured that those must have something to do with opening the crypts, but that it was magical and they didn’t know what they were supposed to do.

Also they said that the giant was back. It broke part of the wall surrounding the manor. It seems like the stone is only a layer that covers a brick wall. I wonder if the Elves knew that when they bought the place or if they got tricked. At any rate we moved lots more food and water into our temporary house, and put a whole bunch down the tunnel, as the giant couldn’t likely fit down there.

Centauri found the key to turn on the fountain. It was tied to the clapper on the bell in the tower. Someone went to an awful lot of trouble to keep that out of reach, as the metal ladder to the platform had been cut and the rope to the bell had been cut high too. We thought that was really strange. Why would someone go through all that work to put the key up there so no one could get it, but still have it there in case they needed it instead of destroying it?

Centauri also found out that the other statue also had a slot for a key. We didn’t have the key though, and didn’t know where to look. I showed Il how to make clay and then make a mold of the slot, and he forged a key. We turned that, but nothing happened.

I was healing pretty good. I was real curious about the statue and the pool. Centauri was taking care of some of the kids that got sick. Me and Il went back to the fountain. I turned the key on and poured water down the cornucopia. Once I poured a couple of buckets down the fountain started up. It was real pretty. But it’s not like it was doing anything amazing. I was wondering why that little girl elven wight liked to hang out there.

I turned it off and on a couple times. I noticed that when I did that there were ripples on the far end of the pool! There was something alive down there! But then I used Il’s spear and figured out there wasn’t, just that when the fountain was off the pool was only a couple of feet deep, but that when it was on, the bottom was really a ramp and it lowered sunk down about eight feet on the far side.

Now I was even more curious! I grabbed some rope and grabbed Centauri off of sick kid duty. I tied the rope to me, took off all my armor and clothes and gave Centauri the other end of the rope. I jumped down in the pool while the fountain was on. The water was freezing cold! I couldn’t last long down there, just enough to find out if there was anything there. Even though I had the goggles on I couldn’t see anything because of all the mud and dirt in the water. I reached where the wall should be on the side opposite the fey statue. There was no wall there! It was a secret passage!

I yanked on the rope and Centauri hauled me out. I told them about the passage as I got dressed again. Then I went back to the gatehouse and dried out in front of the fire. We had to find out what was underneath! We cooked up some great plans. We really thought that the pool must be fairly self contained and that its water wouldn’t refill from some other outside source. If this was the case, we should be able to empty it. Centauri turned the fountain on and put a trough in front of the cornucopia so that the water would spill outside the pool. We left it there that night and figured that would empty the pool pretty quick.

The next morning we were disappointed. The pipe that fed the fountain was only a foot underneath the surface, so only that foot of water had been drained. I grinned as I handed Il a bucket and told him to start dumping water while Centauri and I went to the kitchen to get more buckets. He grumbled a bit, but I heard water sloshing out of the pool as we went through the hedge towards the kitchen.

When we got there we smelled the stench of rotting corpses. At first I thought maybe some of the food had gone bad, but when I looked down into the larder it was roiling with a dense pure black fog. I dipped my sword into it, and it disappeared. Then I put the lantern into it, and it caused the blackness to glow for a moment before it was extinguished.

Centauri and I decided that it was time to leave the kitchen. We started to grab a few sausage links and hanging garlics. That’s when the mist bubbled out of the trap door and began to cover the kitchen floor. It was very cold to the touch and started to make my feet in my boots go numb. I bent down and reached through the mist. Instead of the kitchen’s tiled floor I felt soggy grasses and mud and little twigs like I put my hand into a swamp.

I got real angry. I knew that there was no swamp there, and that I was in the kitchen of the manor house and that the mud and grass and things I was feeling weren’t even there. I shouted out “This is BULLSHIT!” I looked through the mist on the floor and visualized the pretty white and grey marble tile with the red grout and the flecks of silver. Then I WAS looking at the floor! There was no mist, there was no smell of death, there was no coldness.

I laughed out loud. “Centauri,” I said. “It’s not real! None of this is real! Just tell yourself that this isn’t real and it’ll disappear!”

He didn’t though. He took out his sword and started to swing it and prance around like he was fighting enemies that had surrounded him. I went back to the entrance to the larder. It was still there alright, but I could also see a figure wreathed in smoke. I feel the hatred burning from its eyes. Then a bright sword flashes in front of my face and I barely have time to pull my own sword out and deflect the blow!

“Centauri!” I shout, desperate. “This isn’t real! We’re in the kitchen, there’s no fog, there’s nothing to fight, it’s just me!”

I turned back to the figure. “Look,” I said. “We’re not here to hurt your family! We’re just going to heal up for a bit and grab some food and then we’ll be on our way. We want to bury your family but we can’t get in the crypt! Help us find out how!

“And the little girl! I think she’s alive! She needs help. I want to help her! She must feel scared and alone! But I know what happened to her! I know I can help!”

The figure started to move towards me, menacing. I walked to the door to the outside and opened it. I had hoped that the sunlight would help Centauri to see through the illusion. It didn’t. He kept moving around swinging his sword. Then he started to walk right through the wall of the kitchen like there was nothing there!

I didn’t know what to do. I knew that I couldn’t let him go off alone like that, like the time that he and Duran were in the forest that wasn’t there. When they did that, they lit their torch and came back to the real world. But Centauri didn’t have a torch, and I was holding the lantern! I had to stop him!

I ran over to him and grabbed his flank as his front half is on the other side of the wall. I try to pull him back through the wall but that’s useless. His long arms reach through the wall and grab on to me. I’m helpless as he throws ME through the wall! I hit the other side of the secret passage and fall to the floor. I stand up and now he’s going to walk through the other wall of the secret passage!

I’m desperate. I run to him and write the letter “H” on his flank with my finger, hoping that he’ll feel the letter and know that it’s Henry that’s right there with him. He pulls out his sword and starts to hack at me. I back off as I parry his attacks. But then he starts to fade away, disappearing! I have to do something, but I’m out of clever ideas. So I just move close to him and let him chop at me with his big sword. In two or three swings it’s all over as he gets through my defenses. He chops right through my armor and deep into my body. I fall to the floor and feel myself fading away before he does.

I came to. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. The goggles were gone, which I at first thought strange. I felt my wound and was surprised. I had been bandaged quite well. The bandages were tight and firm. Some sort of poultice had been placed in between the layers of the bandages. It stung, so it definitely was a good poultice. My armor had been relaced rather clumsily, like someone had never laced brigandine before.

I knew who had done it. I was glad. Not just that I wasn’t dead because I hadn’t bled to death in the darkness of the secret passage by myself. I was glad about everything. I was glad that I had shouted at Thorek not to kill her, and that I had promised her kinfolk that I would try to take care of her. I felt that it was obvious from the first that she was alive, just like I am. It would be the worst kind of cruelty to murder a child, so frightened and alone.

I stood up, and heard something move not too far from me. She was still here. I leaned against the wall and sunk back down. It was almost completely quiet; I could hear only my own breathing and the beating of my heart. That didn’t make much difference between us, not really any kind difference that mattered.

I pointed at myself. “Henry,” I said. Then I pointed at where I thought she must be. Silence. I did it again. Finally “Henry,” she repeated. She had an accent like the Tusconian mercenaries, I thought. But still a child. “Lela,” she finally said, telling me her own name. Something was tossed to me. I picked up the goggles. I stood up, and heard her scamper out, saw the sliver of light appear and disappear as she opened the book case and was gone.

The Son of Dior was here.